WAW EA told her to leave

[DangerDave]

Solieil - thanks for commenting - I've read quite a number of your posts and I am glad to have you here with me! You along with the other seasoned pro's really wield keen insight that I seem to never think of until it's too late!

Been working hard on doing the opposite/counter intuitive thing thanks to Puppy/Greek/Gucci- so that's the reason behind the dating site - didn't seem right so it must be? As long as I respect my boundaries and keep it above board with those I meet, I think it will be ok and fun too! Hell I need some adult conversation!

First interview in Thursday and a couple next week - wondering why you ask?

Thanks again,

DD

[soleil]

Hey Dave. Glad to be of help to you. Sometimes it's really beneficial to get advice from an objective party so these boards are good for that.

I asked you if you were seeing a L soon based on this:

There's been a few things transpire over the last two months, but bottom line she says she still wants out and a divorce.

And mainly this:

I'm going to interview lawyers next week

Has she mentioned seeing any Ls yet?

[DangerDave]

soleil - well the D and out comment came from a heated "discussion" where we both lost it one evening, tension around the house had been building and I had called her out on another developing EA she was getting herself into. My boundary is she can have any "friendships" she wants, but any with men will require her to leave the family home period. The he's like a brother to me is BS - she has 3 brothers that she doesn't see more than 4-5 times a year. Some guy hanging out with her at coffee as a buddy after the gym every morning just doesn't work for me!

As for her seeing a L yet - not that she has said and no checks or expenses to any that I can see. She has another "best friend" who got dumped by her husband about 10 months ago feeding her all kinds of info - even found copies of income and expense declarations (not completed or attempted)that her divorced pal gave to her. Sad thing is her pal is from my side of the fence - didn't want a D and was the primary income provider as well - so I would think a fair amount of her "help" my be opposite of what my W would need anyway. It's beyond irritating having her trying to drag my W into the D world with her - my W even says she's a total downer and her life pretty much sucks. I did tell the W during the discussion to join her and all her other D friends, they all seem to be having such a great time with their lives (insert extreme amount of sarcasm) as we both know how screwed up each and everyone of them are!

To each their own - I'm having fun, don't care about her emotions and the W is always angry and on edge around the kids and myself too, can't hardly say hello without her bracing for an argument or terse comment back - I'm nice and friendly on a regular basis still!

DD

[soleil]

Continue to be positive around your children. Don't let any negativity weigh you down.

[DangerDave]

I will - hope some of my other support group is still with me as well! Greek, Puppy you guys out there??

DD

[DangerDave]

Just a bump - looking for you Puppy and Greek!

[Puppy Dog Tails]

. . . I had called her out on another developing EA she was getting herself into. My boundary is she can have any "friendships" she wants, but any with men will require her to leave the family home period. The he's like a brother to me is BS - she has 3 brothers that she doesn't see more than 4-5 times a year. Some guy hanging out with her at coffee as a buddy after the gym every morning just doesn't work for me!

But you've joined an online dating site??

What am I missing????

Puppy

[DangerDave]

I know I know - it's an oxymoron at best here - I'm not sure what I'm doing really - I know I want a life out of this house and situation, I am detaching and interacting with other women is one way that I can. I'm there to make sure I'm alive and kicking, not looking for anything serious, but I have to get out and live as I had before!

It's also the fact that I'm not willing to leave MY home, the W has the whole codependency thing going and is looking to that as her detachment vehicle which is great, I'm just trying to get her into the fast lane with getting out. I've given her the let me help you pack speech but she's not budging - so I'm looking to start getting out in the evenings with other people - with whom is not her concern and I don't plan on publicizing it either.

Maybe I'm as wacked as she is!

DD

[TimeHeals]

I know I know - it's an oxymoron at best here - I'm not sure what I'm doing really

I think the term you are searching for is "double standard".

[DangerDave]

Ok so I was being a little harsh on myself there with the oxymoron - but she is the one who wants a D and leave - I'm just trying not to loose my _alls and my mind at the same time. It's beyond frustration!

DD