This is my merged last two posts from my old thread:
I got an email back from H this morning: "I'll get you the paper work in two weeks or so.
goodbye."
I thought about all your suggestions regarding handling this, what soleil said and what Coach added and what I'm thinking of doing now is to ask him to call me. I'm pretty sure he won't want to but I'm going to say (as soleil said) that it's a divorce and not to be taken lightly. I am going away (more on that later) on my Thursday morning so I'll ask him to call me either while I'm at work on Wed (his evening) or anytime during Wed night (his Thu morning - lunchtime). I don't really want him to call when I'm gone so if he doesn't do it before, then I'm back on Monday and we can make new arrangements then.
Once he calls, I plan to say that divorce is not what I want but I understand that he wants it and I don't want a marriage where I'm not respected and I don't feel loved/wanted. Is that confusing? I do want to say that I don't want a divorce, but is it counterproductive? Should I agree to it without saying I don't want it? Please give more more advice on how to handle this conversation and what to say there. Should I be upbeat?
Now, regarding my trip. I'm going home because I need to go to the dentist. My friend is also getting married that weekend and I wasn't planning on going but since I will be around for the dentist, I'm also going to that. The town where the wedding is, is a few hours drive away from my hometown and when I decided to go, I asked my mom to come with me for company since we also have family there. None of these people know what's going on. What do I do? I don't really want to tell, but I can't imagine lying for 5 days to everyone I see. The family there haven't met my H and they will all want to know about our wedding and stuff.... I can't really avoid the subject. I'm considering telling my mom some of it, but I'm not sure if it's a good idea.
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I really want to ask him WHYYY? Why did he decide he wanted a divorce if only a month ago he was telling me he wants to work things out and stepping up to being a real husband. It's not only with me, around the same time he started talking more to his family, everyone was delighted to see "the old him", nice and polite and asking about their affairs as opposed to only calling/emailing when he needed something and never being interested in anyone else but himself. And now he's back to being that person. It's like he's on this giant mood swing, 1-2 weeks up, 1-2 weeks down.
Regarding the legal side, I'm sort of lost here. We don't have any joint accounts or assets, and only have been married for a few months. So that's pretty straight forward I guess. The only thing is that I live in Europe and he's stationed in Asia right now, so I'm not sure how this is all going to happen, but I guess it's not really my problem?
Please help! TH, Coach, soleil, everyone else, I would like your insights and suggestions.
Accept that there is only one thing you can change in life and that is you
