On two ends of the world..

[TimeHeals]

I really want to ask him WHYYY?

Understandable. Everybody wants to know "why" even if what you are going to hear isn't completely accurate or even honest.

I'll give my W this, mixed in with all the confused resentment, there was some truth, and the truth--as painful as it was--meant I didn't waste a lot of cycles wondering. I've done that before when relationships have eneded: let my ego drive my thought process to the point I was compulsively pouring over the details I knew as if I were trying to divine the future by reading tea leaves. Wasted, ego-driven time.

That's where you don't want to spend too much time if you can avoid it: letting your ego (the part of your mind that "thinks" all the time and that we sometimes confuse with who "we really are") drive your conciousness: you can get into a negative feedback loop where what your ego is thinking makes you feel something, and that feeling drives the thinking, which makes you feel, which makes you think, which makes you feel, and so you think.... Some folks get stuck there a long time.


On the bright side, you are still young (yeah, I know your friends all tell you this, and it seems like no consolation), and you still have many wonderful today's ahead of you.

Prayer helped me in the begining. I don't know where you stand in terms of your beliefs, but I initially prayed for strength and clarity, and over time shifted that to giving thanks for the good things I noticed every single day.