On two ends of the world..

[TimeHeals]

I really want to ask him WHYYY?

Understandable. Everybody wants to know "why" even if what you are going to hear isn't completely accurate or even honest.

I'll give my W this, mixed in with all the confused resentment, there was some truth, and the truth--as painful as it was--meant I didn't waste a lot of cycles wondering. I've done that before when relationships have eneded: let my ego drive my thought process to the point I was compulsively pouring over the details I knew as if I were trying to divine the future by reading tea leaves. Wasted, ego-driven time.

That's where you don't want to spend too much time if you can avoid it: letting your ego (the part of your mind that "thinks" all the time and that we sometimes confuse with who "we really are") drive your conciousness: you can get into a negative feedback loop where what your ego is thinking makes you feel something, and that feeling drives the thinking, which makes you feel, which makes you think, which makes you feel, and so you think.... Some folks get stuck there a long time.


On the bright side, you are still young (yeah, I know your friends all tell you this, and it seems like no consolation), and you still have many wonderful today's ahead of you.

Prayer helped me in the begining. I don't know where you stand in terms of your beliefs, but I initially prayed for strength and clarity, and over time shifted that to giving thanks for the good things I noticed every single day.

[ris]

I do pray for strength and clarity. And that I may learn a lesson from all this. Thank you for all the encouragement, I really appreciate it!


I started a new thread since this one got long. It is HERE!

[soleil]

Morning Ris (or afternoon for you, I think).

I got an email back from H this morning:
"I'll get you the paper work in two weeks or so.

goodbye."

Sorry to hear that, Ris, especially sinec he said it over an email, not even in person over the phone. It's immature, IMO but that is not important right now.

Right now is a good time to start calling some Ls in your area for free consultations. It is extremely important that you protect yourself. Cannot stress the importance of representation.

As far as assets, joint accounts, you say you have none which if the D does actually go through, it will make for an easier D. I know that sounds weird but if you have kids, properties, joint accounts, etc, it gets a LOT more complicated.

As for telling other people--you don't have to tell anyone anything that you are not comfortable telling them. Say wahtever you want.

As for the WHY? question... I think a lot of us want to know that.

It's the million dollar question of how someone vowed to love you yet wants out of the M. All I know is that if the other person says they want a D, believe them and let go as gracefully as possible. If someone gets to the point where they file, take them at their word. No one knows what the future holds but if their actions lead them to that, then all you can do is go with it.

I will check out your other thread. Does that mean you will stop posting here?