Do I wait her out?

[Stubborn-Male]

Hi robx,

I appreciate your honesty. Yes, perhaps it was over the top, and certainly my emotions are involved. We have had very, very few conversations about what has happened and why, she will just not discuss the relationship side of things. She has only contacted me when she wanted something and only wants to talk about money.

I was only trying to put my perspective on the situation. Yes I am still a little angry, but most of the anger that I did have has subsided. I did not want or expect a response from her, she has never replied to any of my previous letters about our relationship.

I wanted to make the point about being friends, one of the first things she said to me after she left was that she hoped we could still be friends. This was within a week of her leaving and I was still in a drug haze and didn't understand what was going on and certainly not that she was leaving me. I thought she was just stressed out with exhaustion after caring for me. I see the friends thing as easing her guilt for leaving me whilst I was ill.

I see the happiness comment as reasonable, I have been with this woman for 12 years and have only wished for her happiness. It's difficult to just stop loving someone after that periond of time and also hard to stop caring for their well being.

My wife does seem to be in a bit of a dream world, with no acceptance of reality. She still appears to expect the benefits of our marriage but does not want the baggage, me.

As regards what I am doing about moving on, I am much more in control of my own life now, and have come to terms with the fact that she will almost certainly not be back. I have resumed my socialising, which has been on hold for a long time whilst I was ill. I am enjoying doing house renovations. Playing with my classic motorbikes and have joined a shooting club. I am a little involved with a country dance group, though at the moment my feet are hurting a lot (side effects of the anti-cancer drugs) so not much dancing on my part, but I am meeting and socialising with people. I have no feelings for dating at the moment, just enjoying company.

I would like to remain married to my wife, but she has changed beyond my recognision and the woman she is now I could not live with. My only option appears to be to move on, the financial side of things is complicated but could be sorted; so move on I will.