If she is violating your boundaries and personal space by lingering around then find a new way to exchange your son. Why not meet at a halfway point in a parking lot so the exchange is quick and to the point?
I understand it is very difficult to see your spouse cry but she ropes you in each time with the request for a hug, kiss or an ILY.
She should not be milling about in the family home as she has chosen not to be a part of that any longer. Find a new place to exchange your son or be waiting outside. Have her make a list of what she needs and have it ready for her.
Until you are able to deny her advances for physical affection this will continue. Each time you touch her all the power is returned to her.
