I don't believe the answers are universal. I think my H has a combination of shame and fear, which is likely universal, but i think he is scared of specific things that are situation specific. For instance, there is a fear of legal repricussions in my state. There is the fear of backlash with family, friends, or employment. There's the fear that if they DO change their mind, you won't take them back if they knew the 'truth' which is slightly stupid since reconciliation is only possible with truth. There is the fear that you will hate them and actually make them stop being in your life (aka cake eating).
There are many reasons, none of which make sense but simultaneously do. To everyone. I understand WHY he is afraid to tell me, I just wish he wasn't. He thinks he knows what my reactions would be and he doesn't. Which is why WE are told not to mind read. They suck at it too.
Me 30 H 29 DC 9, 7, 2 M 4 years, T 6 years ILYBINILWY Bomb: 8/8/10 He doesn't want to work, I'm slowly getting there too Physically separating end of September
