Or am I just slipping back into the same old patterns... looking for reasons why his underfunctioning, his lack of empathy, his poor communication skills... must be my fault some how?
I do not know, but there must be something you like about him, right?
Yes sorry I know. I'm being pessimistic again.
He's got a nice bum. And good legs. Runner's legs. teehee.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
Oh and I thought of more stuff... - he's got a GREAT sense of humor - he is nice to his mother - he's a really hard worker (too hard sometimes) - he told me the other day I looked 'snazzy' (not the most sexiest compliment I've ever received, but hey it's a start!) - he let me take over half our garage for my art studio
See, I did take your gratitude exercise you suggested seriously...I didn't just blow it off. It was very helpful. I think having to deal with my mom at that funeral this month threw me off kilter. Didn't get into all what happened here but it was pretty grim, just more sh*t and abuse. I'm glad my IC said it was about time I started limiting contact with her. Thanks for reminding me (yet again) to focus on the good stuff. Please don't give up on me. I really am trying.
Last edited by FindingMyVoice; 09/20/1010:21 PM.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
“He let me take over half our garage for my art studio”
WHAT????? A man’s castle is his garage… you should see mine… carpet, refrigerator, T.V…It’s my sanctuary….. Boy He must really care for you…. Most guys have a hard time showing emotion...I know it’s WRONG but to many it shows a sign of weakness It is the way a guy was brought up. So he may not show he cares so much with words… but watch for his actions…
Take care…. “Bum”???…. You sound like you are from the UK
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
“He let me take over half our garage for my art studio” WHAT????? A man’s castle is his garage… you should see mine… carpet, refrigerator, T.V…It’s my sanctuary….. Boy He must really care for you….
REALLY?!!! Your sanctuary!? A castle?! Carpet and tv?! That's really nice to hear... and surprising! He never really made a big deal out of it so I didn't realize ... boy, do I have a lot to learn about men. Thank you for filling me in about that Doc!
Originally Posted By: Dr LOve
So he may not show he cares so much with words… but watch for his actions…
This is a tough one for me. I'm a 'words' gal. I will work harder at this.
Originally Posted By: Dr LOve
Take care…. “Bum”???…. You sound like you are from the UK
Nothing quite so exotic, I'm afraid. I'm from Canada.
Last edited by FindingMyVoice; 09/21/1001:04 AM.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
Okay. So now you guys have me really curious. He actually does a lot of 'stuff' around the house etc. I never really thought that it was a show of his feelings for me though. I figured even if I wasn't around he'd still have to do it, so it didn't really have anything to do with me.
So maybe I'm wrong? Are you saying the stuff he does like jobs around the house ... like putting up a new light fixture in the front hallway, mowing the grass because I'm allergic to it (even though I don't think he really believes that), fixing the siding, winterizing the camper... is stuff like that seriously how guys show affection?
(really sorry if this sounds dumb...)
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
So maybe I'm wrong? Are you saying the stuff he does like jobs around the house ... like putting up a new light fixture in the front hallway, mowing the grass because I'm allergic to it
Acts of service? I think that is one of the things in that Love Languages book.
Gifts and acts of service: the reason why many men can't figure out why she isn't happy
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
Acts of service? I think that is one of the things in that Love Languages book.
Yes, I realize it's there... I just never thought of it as being services that aren't directed specifically at one's spouse as being something you're doing 'for' that other person to show them your affection for them. But I guess, if he didn't do those things...like mowing the grass and putting up the light fixture... then I'd have to do it. So yah, I can actually see that. It's not 'for' me, but it's for me, no?
PS... just sharing... the whole gifts thing? I think most women would agree that it's overrated. I'd much rather have my H pour me a glass of wine, sit with me on the couch and look deeply into my eyes, hold my hand and listen to me, than receive a bauble.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
Ever watch national Geographic? IT’s part of the Male instinct…. Birds, fish and penguins…. The males built and make the nests attractive to attract the females… Your statement reminded me of a “discussion” my wife and I had waaaaay back. We were talking about things I did for her and one of them was her mother who is 88. I always go over her house to fix things whenever she calls and take care of her yard. (One night when she was sick I spent the night there because “wife could not do it because she “needed sleep” Anyway my wife said “you do those things for my mother not me” I told her I do it because she IS your mother. I did not just drive around and look for some old lady to take care of. I am doing it for you…because she is YOUR mother. Yes he does these things because they do need to be done...but…he is also doing them to take care of his family…
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Yes sorry I know. I'm being pessimistic again.