I thought you all might be interested in the e-maoil I sent my wife on 29th.August.
Dear xxxxx
You have misconstrued my saying let us wait a while to sort the house out; I am not stalling for reconciliation, after what you have done and your total disregard for me, I am not available for reconciliation with you now; it is not on my agenda. I know you better than anyone, you are not yourself, this ‘MLC madness’ or whatever you are in, can last for months or years and I am not interested in the person you are now, You have to do this journey on your own and wait for your train to crash, as it will. I have not decided what I want to do yet and am going to take my time to consider all of my options.
You now say you want to be alone, that is your choice, as it was your choice to be married. It was your choice to love me and your choice to stop loving me. If our marriage isn’t worth anything to you, why should it be worth anything to me?
I have loved you unconditionally and remained your faithful and supportive partner for 12 years now. It was my dream to grow old with you and share our life and the wonderful memories we have; but the things you have done, and the selfish attitudes you are taking towards me just now, have destroyed those memories as well as those dreams.
I am going on with my life to do what I want to do. I wanted that life to be with you; however, you have made the choice to walk away and put no effort into repairing our marriage, so that will preclude that. I deserve to be with a person that loves me for who I am, a person that loves me as much as I love them and a person who will stand up for me when needed; and I will not settle for less than I deserve. I did find a partner like that once, and lost her; I thought I had found another; I was wrong. You have, as a coward and a runner, walked out and gone your own way and will not be back; I am therefore going to redeem the time that I have left and rebuild my life.
I now feel that it would be in my best interests, for us to go our own way and I want to have no contact with you for quite some time. I neither want nor need the stress that you create in my life.
I cannot understand why you would want to be ‘friends’. Why would I want or need to be your friend? You walked out on me with no notice, abandoned me when I was ill and unable to cope on my own, what kind of person would do that and expect to still be a friend? Friends we cannot be, I will not be your ‘safety net’ or ‘back-up plan’ for when things go wrong for you, as they surely will.
You now have access to ample money to buy a house if you wish, though I still feel that for the moment renting is a better option for you. Hopefully you will find work soon, so you should be able to live quite comfortably by your own efforts, instead of mine.
The sad part of this whole affair is that if you had had the courage and moral fibre to talk about things in years past, life could have been so much better for both of us and we would not be where we are now. Know that my heart is full of love, forgiveness and compassion for you at this time.
I wish you well in your new life and hope that you find the adventure you seek and the happiness you want, from within yourself.
xxxxx
I hope I didn't go 'over the top'. Any reassuring comments would be appreciated. We have had no contact, other than the picnic mentioned previously, since the letter.
I think it was over the top, I can sense a strong emotional response in that letter, you are angry at her for leaving you, the letter has a bit of a poetic ring to it, it's very grand and sparks a lot of imagery, maybe you were trying to get an emotional response from her after reading this letter.
I would have told her something more simple like:
"Dear XXXXX, You have misconstrued my saying let us wait a while to sort the house out; I am not stalling for reconciliation. I have decided that it would be in my best interests for us to go our separate ways, your request to be friends sounds good, I think one day that might very well be possible. I hope your house hunting/renting efforts work out and I hope you find work soon, these things will help you move on. I wish you well in your new life and hope that you find happiness.
Yours truly.... XXXXX"
You sound angry in some parts, jaded/jilted in others, don't want to be friends but then then wishing her happiness from within and all that other stuff, way too involved, very much over the top but it's done, you can't take it back now.
Not so much a reassuring comment but an honest one from me, more important however, what are you doing to move on with your life now?
