Hey Sandi2 & CPC, thanks for the reading my post. I just put a stop payment on the car and the insurance. I am on the car, but i can add insurance to my policy if needed and pay the dealer directly if she doesnt. I will just have to repo the car etc. I will cut back on what i include in the journal, and keep it to only important info regarding the kids.
This was a terrible weekend. My youngest wouldnt leave me alone, she was stuck to my hip for most of the time. My youngest boy has withdrawn from everyone after his weekend with mommy and the OM. I also found out that when his mom showed up to get them for her visit on Thursday, he hopped on his bike and rode away. She had to follow him and get him to come with her.
I am at a loss. He wont talk to me, his grandma, his brothers or anyone. He just doesnt want to be around anyone. He is spending as much time as possible at his friends home. Its like he is trying to hide from our situation. I have tried talking to him, everyone in our family has tried to talk to him, he just says nothing is wrong. Yet he has withdrawn from everyone. I had them seeing a therapist, got so I couldnt afford it anymore. My ex hasnt lived up to her end of the bargin.
I am worried about my kids. My oldest has already said he doesnt care if he lives or dies, I have had him at the doctors, he is on a list for a child physcologist, but the waiting time is too long. This has messed my kids up so much. Any guidance people could give me on what to do, or books ect. that my help, I would be very grateful. My children didnt ask for this to happen.
My 2 step children have told me that there father and step mom are officially separated as well, so more stress for them. They have had 3 different parental units and all three have ended in separations/divorce. I cant beging to imagine what they are going through. I have such a heavy heart as i cant make things better for them.
I try to leave my stress outside the home, but somedays it is very hard. They are good children, who just dont know which way is up.
My kids are effecting me more and more. My oldest has begged me not to do anything until after christmas. My little girl just wants her mom. I had to go to her cause she was in the bath and wouldnt stop crying. All she wanted was her mommy. I couldnt deal with her so thank god grandma was home.
I think the reason i am stuck here at this point is beacuse of them. I truley love my wife, i do believe she is my solemate. But i also know i can live the rest of my life alone without her. Then the children come into play. they are expecting dad to fix everything. I tell them I cant make mommy come home and they dont understand, nor do i expect them to. I wipe the tears, i tell them its okay, that mommy and daddy both love them. It just doesnt seem to be enough and the stress is building up on me.
I know im gonna crash, i just cant handle it anymore. I cant be politically correct with my children. I want to tell to take all their questions to their mother, but all she says "im not coming home" or "I dont know". So the kids come back to me.
So any parents dealing with similar situations please share with me how you have handle these kinds of questions etc.
