PMA, of course it's not what I want to hear or accept. But I'm not comfortable staying where I'm at with no action. I guess I don't see what's wrong with opening up a door of opportunity for him to come home (esp. since he's said he has wanted to). I'm not going to beg, cry, or really even ask - I'm just going to allow it if he chooses to do so WITH boundaries.
Why would this be sloppy seconds? If that's the case - isn't everyone who takes back a cheating spouse getting sloppy seconds?
CG, I was thinking of giving him a week, but I'm not set on that. If he doesn't sound interested at the time I bring this up to him, I might just call the lawyer and get things started.
I know the boundaries are going to be tuff which is why I would want to be up front about them. I have settled on so much. I'm not willing to settle on certain boundaries. But I know he sees boundaries in a different way than I do. I see them as like guard rails - things to help keep him accountable and on the right path, things I need to feel safe and respected. I think he might see them as bossy demands and a way of me controlling him. That's not the case, but I don't know how to get him to see the difference.
I know what you mean about him having to make the choice or resentment will be deep. But if I open up the chance for him to come home, aren't I giving him the choice? He's acting like he wants to come home, but I wasn't really ready. If I now give him a chance, it's his choice. I'm not forcing him to do anything. He doesn't know that if he doesn't come home I'm going to file for a separation. I feel like this puts the ball in his court.
Me: 34 H: 34 DD: 3 M: 8 yrs H moved out Oct. 2008, "not happy" "don't know what I want" "will always love you, but not in love with you" PA Bomb: April 5, 2010
