Have you established a timeline of how long the offer will be extended to him? IMO I would keep it short.
When it comes to my H I have had lots of troubles (in large part of my own doing!) setting boundaries that are all about me and not part of a greater "ultimatum package". Setting boundaries is one thing, enforcing them is another.
Once the wayward spouse lives with their affair partner (and especially if they have now started to involve family in their R) a tremendous power is created. The only way to end that power is IN FULL. No calls, talking, messaging, texting, e-mailing or seeing OW at all. The thing is, HE has to make that choice or else the resentment will be deep.
I guess in life all we can do is offer or create opportunity.
