putting my big girl panties on

[flowmom]

But do take it slowly. I believe that we fall in love with our idea of a new person long before we really get to know that person (or maybe they are good at hiding flaws for a while). Protect not just your kids, but yourself from too much change too fast.

Yes, that is good advice. Not easy for me to follow, but the distance and our busy schedules make it easier. I am by no means sure that this guy is the one for me. It remains to be seen if he is capable and willing to engage emotionally to the degree that I would need for that kind of relationship. I really don't know him, and it's hard for me to just relax and be curious...anxiety and mindreading are a trap for me. All good fodder for the work that I need to do. It helps me to think of all of this as being all about me and the personal development that I need to do. M is most projections from me at this point...I don't know his heart and his essence yet.

newmama, M will be patient if I ask him to. It's possible that he's the one who is pulling back at this point...it's hard to tell.

Kalni, I liked Passionate Marriage too, but for some reason the organization of Intimacy and Desire is making it click better for me. But they are both great. The forum on their site is also interesting. Some very deep thinkers there.

Thanks for the replies. Always a pleasure to see familiar names.