Today, I am okay. It's different each day. Some days I do okay, then others, I am a wreck. I cry, let it all out (in private), give myself a positive self talk lecture, pick myself up and try moving forward again. This is the hardest time of my life for sure.
Thanks for asking. You are right- my H is an (angry) a$$hole. His only goals now are keeping as much of our money away from me as possible, reminding me the failed M is all my fault and reminding me of what I will be missing once I leave (beautiful house, security, traveling, etc), and getting rid of me by Dec 1st, so his D38 can visit in December and they can have the house to themselves with me, the evil stepmama and W not around. lol.
I am sorry you are hurting so much. But the decisions you have made are the best ones for you and your sitch. Your WAW cannot be allowed to jerk you around anymore. We have to take their power away and we do that by dropping the rope, letting them go. Doing this is the way we begin to feel good about ourselves and move closer towards that good life that awaits us. With that being said, it's not easy- it's two steps forward, three back , until we become strong enough to take only forward steps.
H and I see mediation L again tomorrow. Meeting will be interesting as H has taken the previous alimony amount off table and replaced the numbers with some new ones that at first glance seem to benefit him.I have to work the numbers. I wish H would keep the money and work on the M, but he refuses. So we are lawyered up and off to fight in the ring.I prefer not to fight, but H isn't being "fair".
Hang in there- keep hugging those furkids for comfort and know all of us on these boards care about you~
I cry, let it all out (in private), give myself a positive self talk lecture, pick myself up and try moving forward again. This is the hardest time of my life for sure. 
