I think her husband got the message - she is just surprised that he went along with it after a while, she had been telling him that she wanted a divorce probably more than few times, the problems didn't get any better, the distance between them got bigger and bigger, her only answer to their issues is "we're not seeing eye to eye on any of our problems, maybe we should get divorced", a person hears that a few times, they either freak out and become clingy and scared that they're losing their spouse or they get turned off enough to agree and move on.
That's what he's done, and I'll say it again, I would tell any LBS to do the same with a spouse that starts mentioning wanting to get a divorce. It works far better than anything else.
She started this by offering divorce as a solution, she needs to offer something better and prove that it's what she really wants and stands behind it. I don't see this situation getting any better until then, she married a guy who is confident and strong enough to stand up for himself and who would let go of people who don't value him or the relationship they have with him. Most men would have an opposite reaction to their wife saying she wants a divorce and that's why you have men on these forums sitting/languishing for months/years hoping for their situations to improve. Apparently oncemore's husband values his time more than most men and wouldn't put up with that nonsense.
