You always make judgements about me. This is not news.
Sure, he can get a lower paying job, move out of state and lose custody of his daughter. Sounds great!
He *has* petitioned the court and lost every time. Every single time.
I'd like you to think about this.... S woke up and kissed his W and daughter goodbye and went to work. When he got home 10 hours later the house was wiped clean and there was a pie and a note on the counter. The note informed S his W had left with their child and that was that. He had NO CLUE where his child was. He attempted to contact his W through every medium (text, phone, e-mail) and the authorities were almost called for kidnapping. Can you just stop and imagine the terror when all that happens?
Then, on top of that to lose everything you had worked for to provide for your family for a decade... can you just stop and see why it might be terribly, terribly difficult? Then, he retains one of the best law firms in So Cal. only to spend close to 20K in legal fees to keep losing more because his W refuses to settle (which is her legal right until a court date is ordered which is in the process).
If S does not remain in the state of CA he will have no custody of his daughter other than a few weeks out of the year. So he chooses to stay where he is and suffer at the hands of the law so he can continue to have 50/50 custody. Yes, it's his choice and he is making the best one for his child.
The thing is, many of us have it *just* that bad financially when it comes to divorce. And you like to paint us as bitter or stuck. It's a frightening place to be when you know today is the day you could lose it all at the hands of the court. It's a frightening place to be when you know today might be the day something catastrophic can happen and you have no protection available to get yourself out of a bind.
You can judge me all you like... as I said, this is not a new thing for you. But don't judge him unless you know all the facts. And yes, maybe I am going all "mama bear" but S *is* one of my closest friends and I am not going to sit by and watch anybody judge him unless they know what he endures (with a smile I might add) each day.
