I feel like I am always facing the world alone and somehow I just have to keep plowing along. I am just heartbroken
You are NOT alone
Luv
(((CG))) You have many friends here, and ones know exactly how it is to feel ^^^^that. Yet we all keep rising above and plowing along. And, more than that... we become stronger and stronger every day (even when it doesn't feel like it).
I definitely understand feeling alone...I feel that way a lot. And my ex has told me many times that when he starts talking to me he just gets so angry that he can't talk to me without going off...
You have a b.s. detector, keep using it. Don't let D try and dump all of his crap back on you. Easier said than done sometimes, but necessary.
You have been the voice of reason for a lot of us here on the boards. I only wish I could give back to you as well as you have given to me...
CG - Just the mere fact that D even suggests that he thought you and he would be dating by now, while he still lives with OW, is a sure sign that his priorities are fubar.
Your only response required is..."We both know why we must severe the marriage and there is nothing left to discuss. Please be so kind to respect my wishes of maintaining minimal or no contact and granting my freedom from being married to you."
Your only response required is..."We both know why we must severe the marriage and there is nothing left to discuss. Please be so kind to respect my wishes of maintaining minimal or no contact and granting my freedom from being married to you."
Problem is this guy doesn't listen or care, he lives in his own little world. He'll come back whining how he's upset that CG's not talking to him and how him and CG should've been dating again by now. Of course, CG may still have feelings for him...how can you not after being together for so long and being the LBS so hearing him say stuff like that must totally mess with you. He either does this on purpose as a control thing or he really is so clueless about what he's done. Regardless it is very very cruel of him to even spew this sort of bullsh!t. Worse yet there seems to be no easy way of stopping him other than getting a restraining order against him or some other legal way of keeping him away which could affect the current separation agreement that orders the two of them to communicate- which he takes full advantage of when it suits him.
He was quiet for a while and now all this talk why? because things are probably falling apart with OW and he misses his best friend to offer him support and advice. Again, extremely selfish and self-centered. The only thing I can suggest for now is to ignore him...I know he whines and gets upset about you not communicating with him but the communication should be limited to legal matters only- in my humble opinion. I know he's masterful at mixing both legal and non-legal BS together so the only thing you can do is filter out the non-legal BS and only respond to the legal stuff. I know you've tried all these things but it's either this or just letting time take care of it.
I still think there has to be a way to hold his feet to the fire by serving him with a trial date. Once he's served he has to comply. Sure his lawyer will ask for extention but after a few times he will have to appear I don't care if you have diplomatic immunity a court order is a court order.
Last edited by ImprovedRomeo; 09/20/1004:29 PM.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
Thanks for all the support! It means the world to me!
As I have mentioned legally there is nothing I can do until Nov. 19th as that is our one year mark.
What he says doesn't mess with my head but it does show me he is clueless or simply has no regard for my feelings. I do believe he thought we would be past this by now ('cause he told me, lol!) but he had yet to even apologize to me for anything. There has been no sorrow or remorse.
Him not wanting a divorce simply comes down to health insurance and what he will have to pay. Period. If he would just even be honest about that things might be different.
The thing is... I *did* the work to get out of this marriage and did NOT leave through the back door like he did. Obviously nobody aims to be divorced but I did all I could do and that is that.
Once Nov. 19th rolls around (or Dec. 1 since I will be away) I will have the final dissolution drawn up and served. He can agree or not, his legal choice.
It's too bad if things are not going well with OW. Had he taken a step back and not destroyed his finances and lied to his whole family about "her" then maybe he could have made better choices. Or maybe they are happy as can be. It's not my job though to make his life comfortable with "her".
The evil side of me has to laugh - she has demanded D never talk to me again - she sure as hell won't be happy when SHE has to declare her income under "household" to help pay for my health insurance. I doubt she will be pleased her earnings will go to me
My mom called y'day and we had a talk about the explosive meeting we had last week (RE: my father's estate). I guess we sort of came to an understanding but now she wants ME to call my sister and apologize. She wants us to come over on Wed. for a meeting but said my sister and I have to talk first. Of course, my sister won't make the first move. This situation has been upsetting beyond belief.
My dear friend K has been dealing with a terrible tragedy. His best friend from childhood had his father go missing. He went missing last Wed. and today is the last day they will be searching with the helicopters/dogs before the call it a recovery effort. The story has been on the news non stop. The police thing this man is "lost" in a huge state park. He was very depressed and went off his medication. He left his W a bunch of signed checks and money. It's all so sad.
I so dislike when I wake up on a Monday and stress is just running through my body. Ugh!
I hope you and your sis can resolve everything soon. Maybe the talk will yield a new understanding.
I am sorry to hear about your friend's dad. That is really awful.
Your ex saying his OW can't speak your name has always been hilarious to me. Like you weren't there before her or something? It's ridiculous. Dec will be here before you know it, CG.
