My H's C told him that the recovery from addiction was not a straight uphill path. There would be dips and low spots, which would be discouraging; HOWEVER, after making it through each dip, he'd be higher up the path than he was before. Eventually, he'd be up on the peak, with the valley only a distant memory. H had to remind himself of that analogy as he went through some of the low spots, but found the metaphor to be accurate.
The C also warned me that the chances of H falling back into the addiction were very high while he was on the early stages of the path. I feel quite lucky that he was strong enough to walk away from all his MLC crutches.
It seems to me that your H is still self-medicating, rather than walking up the path to self healing. That doesn't mean he won't, just that at the moment he is not being a partner to you.
I found the most helpful thing I could do for myself was to keep asking, Is this the way I want to be in a relationship? Would I feel good about behaving like this in my next relationship? Then I tried to act As If I were in that healthy relationship. For me, this often meant bringing things up, in a calm and gentle manner, because that was something I hadn't been good at. Even when he didn't make much of a response, at least I could feel I wasn't choking on all the stuff I was suppressing. However, only you will know if that would make things better or worse with your H, who seems to be back in a very angry state.
