I'm not sitting too comfortably atm as I know I care too much about what he's up to. No contact allowed me to get on with my life irrespective of what he was up to. I think we've moved too far for the detachment of NC but not quite far enough. Frustrated!!
Cas, I hear you!!!! A couple months ago Jody (DB coach) and I had talked about a plan for how I should proceed if my XH continued to accept at least some of my invitations, but didn't initiate. According to the plan, I would choose a deadline (not to be communicated to XH) after which I would stop initiating and move forward with my life. If XH wanted to initiate I would respond........As it turns out XH began initiating in July and now seems to be pretty comfortable initiating table tennis games with me. This week I might suggest a standing Wednesday table tennis game with XH.
I'm not saying that you should follow this strategy, just offering it as one option to think about and decide whether it might be a good fit for you. You know your H the best. If there is still the possibility of an OW, I think it would be premature to talk "trust" issues with H. I think he would perceive it as pursuing. Use these boards to vent your frustration. Be your H's safe harbor and he will feel that he can confide in you when the time is right.
It's not fair, it's hard, but you can do it! You've already come REALLY far!
A couple months ago Jody (DB coach) and I had talked about a plan for how I should proceed if my XH continued to accept at least some of my invitations, but didn't initiate. According to the plan, I would choose a deadline (not to be communicated to XH) after which I would stop initiating and move forward with my life. If XH wanted to initiate I would respond........As it turns out XH began initiating in July and now seems to be pretty comfortable initiating table tennis games with me. This week I might suggest a standing Wednesday table tennis game with XH.