Stitching together a new quilt

[FindingMyVoice]

Hi Doc, thanks for stopping by again. I'm sorry, I'm trying to be so discrete about what I'm saying I'm confusing the issue I think. The secret is just within my FOO. My H actually does know about it. But actually, I think what you're saying still can apply. Because I haven't exposed my hurt and fears about having to keep that da*n secret and dealing with emotional abuse (that 'label' still sounds weird to say) to my H. I've expressed my anger and frustration about it all, but he's rarely seen my tears.

There was once I did (edit: expressed my true pain to him, showed tears etc) this spring, that I wrote about on this board on an old thread. But that was a very rare incident. And interestingly, that time he handled it great. He was really supportive, kind and empathetic.

So this is kind of surprising me. Maybe it's me that needs to change how I share things with him. You're so right... exposing information DOES leave us vulnerable. And in not expressing my hurt I'm keeping myself from feeling vulnerable. But in doing so I'm only hurting myself because he can't know I need comfort. Geez.

PS I figured you weren't a real doctor. I still appreciate your help and ear in sorting this out though! It's really helpful.