I was scared and relieved when she came home. Scared as I could have lost her. Relieved that I wasn't a victim of an affair. (Found out in July I actually was already)
PA confirmed as far back as mid April. OM returned from school and begain working with wife in mid December. He was apparently dissatisfied with his 1.5 yr marriage as well.
The two M's disintegrated simultaneously; near perfect timelines.
The surgery gives me two questions- 1-WAS is a cyst or tubal pregnancy? She went to a clinic because of abdominal pain. (However, being a month after the latest the affair was confirmed-hotel receipt mid April), could she have known 'pregnant'; went to "solve it", and had to go for surgery to do so? Thus no call to me?
(I will ask for the medical records as part of the Separation Agreement)
2-If a cyst, surely a fist sixed cyst took time to grow and, in my opinion. would/should have had an effect on her hormones, right?
After the bomb, I began DB'ing. My suspicions of an A began when she began spending too many evenings with 'friends'. I confirmed it just after the July long weekend.
Exposed it two weeks later while they were on another 'weekend' trip.
Confronted the week after. She left and hasn't returned.
We share D on alternating weeks.
Verbal agreement on splitting household expenses.
They are now living with her friend (who is also divorcing) Prior to this, they were living with his Bro and SIL.
The current situation is somewhat moot.
I am simply pursuing some input regarding the "precentage/likelihood" that this is MLC.
Not that age matters, but she just turned 29.
Her history-
Her biological father left before she was born. (M w/kids) Her mother had an 8 year (part time)relationship with her fathers friend-he left to return to his family fulltime)
My wife was only child of single mom who had no family here. Just some close friends.
My wife moved out when she was 17. did not get along with her mom's new BF.
She moved into appt with her own BF. He had substance issues.
She left and found new guy. Moved in with him. Got engaged within 2 yrs. Bought house together; his substance issue accelerated, became violent. She cancelled engagement. Prepared to leave.
I worked with her from about time of engagement. When it went sideways, we began talking. As it was clear she was leaving/splitting, I asked her out.
Two weeks later, her EX chased her in his car. She called me. Came to my house. We were together ever since.
Pattern, yes. I however am not subsatance abuse nor violent.
I'm curious what MLC'ers have to say. Just need some more perspective.
