You can't have everything, where would you put it?

[ClingingToHope]

So it's 11:15 a.m. and D8 and I are in the car driving to pick up D11 from a sleepover. I'm pulling up to a stoplight and see STBXW's car. We're going to end up right next to it so I tell D8, hey there's STBXW car, you can wave to her.

We pull up and there's ... the same guy she was spotted with last summer, the same guy who was mowing our yard in the summer, driving her car.

D8 is staring at him, saying it can't be her mom's car, then she notices the youth theater sticker and she says, it is mom's car, who is that?

She wanted to call STBXW. I said no. I sent her a text asking who was driving her car. Hannah saw him. She texted back that "Jer" was taking her car to get a new headlight. They know him as the brother of .... blah, blah, blah.

I waited a minute and texted back "When are you going to tell the girls about him."

There's been no response on that one.

We get D11 and D8 starts in about the guy and D11 asks me why I'm making an assumption. I told her that after being with someone for 13 years, seeing another man in the car I paid for is hard.

We dropped off D8's friend and D8 walked her to the door. D11 told me I had to move on and that lady we saw Friday night was nice.

I told her that I have not asked a single person out since I moved because I consider STBXW and I to still be married. When the divorce is final I'll start asking women out.

Aaaaaaggggghhhhh. I hate that it happened on a day I have the kids so they can see it affect me.

I'm not sure exactly what I'm feeling. It's pretty brazen. I mean it's 11 a.m. on a Sunday. My guess is that means he's now staying on weekends. It could be an innocent thing where he's coming over to help on the house ... which has been her story. I don't believe that.

Really, though, it's not so much that I'm upset about this guy. I told the girls in the car that their mom is going to date someone else some day and this might be the guy.

I think it's my competitiveness. I wanted to be the one to find someone first. I feel constrained now by the fact the divorce isn't final. I'm out there, but I'm not really out there. But there's more to it than that as well. Money is a problem and will be a problem even after the settlement -- as long as I get it -- even if I found someone I couldn't afford more than renting a movie from the store right now.

Well, I need to rally.