Start of the end..

[antlers]

IWITW,
sorry that you're having to deal with all the stuff that's happened. We were headed for a nasty trial, and we recently had a 6 hour mediation that resulted in the negation of a trial. I hope that you are successful in avoiding a trial. A trial takes ALL of the decision making ability away from BOTH of you.
If you can continue to detatch from her, and what she's done, you will continue to do better. Congratulations on your progress so far.
Cheating, in my opion, is the worst thing that one person can do to another...short of killing them. These people are able to convinve themselves that what they did, and are doing, is OK...regardless of how wrong it actually is! I'm sorry that it happened to you.

ps - I can also relate, completely, to your last paragraph above. Good work!