Hi punkin- I agree that you have no control over what thoughts pop in you head...however you do have control over which thoughts you dwell on...or even find a new perspective to manage the thought.
This may sound silly but in the beginning, when one of those thoughts came in my head, I repeated to myself "Let it go. Let it go. Let it go." and then I made a point to think about the blessing I do have in my life.
Last weekend I was very angry and hurt by what my H did. I could have dwelled on it for days but I quickly let it go by thinking my H is not capable of having a relationship right now and he needs to go finish this journey...and hopefully he will come out the other side of this a happy and complete man.
Now, I know that may sound pretty simplistic especially if there is an OP involved...the hurt and betrayal can be overwhelming. My first H married the OW...it took me a loooong time to get past it and realize how emotionally damaged these people were. If I could have looked at it that way in the beginning rather than thinking about how I was rejected, it would have saved me some heartache...not all but any unneccessary pain you can spare yourself is a good thing.
