Relocated the family and he dropped the bomb

[BeingMe]

I think you are right in getting a L in this state. Good thinking. You have told the 3.5 year old as much as she can handle right now, I think. But, do remind her that daddy and mommy love her and her sister very much. Once she is settled into her new place, and has a routine, and is visiting with grandparents, and cousins, and friends, she will soon forget the negatives. It will become normal for daddy to visit occasionally. Sad, I know, but small children do adapt, especially if they have a good, fun routine. It doesn't sound like he was terribly involved with them, anyway.

There is nothing you can do about boundaries where OW is concerned. He might stop contact with phone, but use text, or create a new email, or have a secret cell phone, or IM her through facebook, or a hundred other technical ways to contact a person. Even if he chose to come back, you will never truly know if he is still in contact with the OW. I don't, after 6 years. I don't have any assurety that he really ended it ... he hasn't changed or done anything to help me feel I can trust him. So, it is probably a good thing that you go back to your hometown, and let him deal with whatever he needs to deal with. At least, the children will be away from all that negativity and sadness.

Take care.