You can't have everything, where would you put it?

[ClingingToHope]

I know Awest. Part of this goes back to last summer. When I first moved out it was really hard not having the kids. Then I got my apartment and could have them and what really shocked me was how hard it was when I had them because I wondered what STBXW was doing.

For the most part that has gone away. It's a matter of flipping the calendar and getting through the days. The people she's hanging out with now I wouldn't want to be around anyway. If that's the life she needs to be happy, I would be miserable being a part of it.

Another weird thing -- and it may be coincidence -- but many of the big shocker things, the filing, finding out she was with other guys at the county fair, seeing another man mow what used to be my yard for 13 years, always seemed to happen on nights or weekends I had them.

Probably just a coincidence, but those would throw me for a loop.

Another thing with D11 -- and to another extent D8 -- is they keep looking for proof that I still love STBXW. They'll ask about this thing or ask to hear a story and I oblige.

So they think I'm still madly in love with STBXW. I tried to kind of explain it to D11, that I still love the STBXW I married, but she isn't the same person anymore.

It's tough.

I'll just soldier on. Who knows what STBXW is doing this weekend. She pulled a small stunt this morning. She tried to call last night, I didn't answer, so she texted asking if we were home so she could drop off D11's asthma meds.

I texted back. No. We're not home tonight. Just put them in the mailbox.

When we did get home, no meds.

Then at 8 a.m. she starts ringing the doorbell. The girls were still sleeping -- so was I. So I stepped outside and she started handing me the meds. She said there was too much to put in the mailbox. She could have put them in a bag and hung it on the doorknob, but I didn't say anything. I took them from her and stepped back inside.

Later today, I looked online and she forwarded me an email from school. D8 has missed several assignments so STBXW is asking for a meeting. The response from the teacher was to the point.

It's hard to explain sufficiently here. STBXW seemed to be insinuating in the email that the reason D8 has missed assignments is because the directions on what is expected in class is unclear and that the communication was much better last year.

For 13 years she would ask me to edit her emails because she tends to come off .... b*tchy.

Well, now I'm not there to do that.

It looks like the teacher responded a little defensively. She said she would ask last year's teacher to sit in plus D8's aid from last year so they could discuss all these issues.

STBXW responded back, "you can invite whoever you want."

So there'll be a meeting in a couple of weeks that'll be a whole lot of fun. Awest, I'm sure you've had these parents. Whenever D8 or D11 struggle, it's somehow the school's fault. The communication isn't sufficient. The teacher is being too hard on them. There isn't enough support. They ask too much.

It's why D8 switched schools twice before she was done with kindergarten. I remember a meeting once where STBXW was hammering away at D11's 4th grade teacher and I tried to calm things down a bit.

When it was over she stormed to her car. When I caught up with her she was crying and shaking with rage. She said I didn't support her in the meeting. She said I never support her when it comes to the girls.

I know teachers and I'd love to have those summers off, but I also know dealing with parents is hard because it's rarely the child's fault.

I love my girls to death. But a big reason they struggled two years ago was because our marriage was crumbling. STBXW was staying at work every night to 8 p.m. or 9 p.m. Now I know she was just avoiding me. But that affected the girls. D11 spent the year crying herself to sleep and forgetting things because she worried about us.

My guess is that D8's issues have to do with the fact she's back in a regular classroom -- last year she started out in special ed because of the ADHD -- and there are greater expectations. Homework is something she didn't have to do last year. All she ever had to do at home was a practice spelling test.