So before I had these discussions with you about consequences, I had a series of emails going back and forth to WAH regarding OW.
1) H asked "how I would feel" if OW was hanging out with him and S5 tomorrow during H's "time." 2) I responded how irresponsible it was, and especially that he introduced them without talking to me about it - more lies. 3) So he said "Ok when can we have the discussion?"
It's a set up, folks and I don't know how to respond. 1) He's not going to listen to me or respect my wishes anyhow 2) He has blamed me for "not being willing to have the discussion" as an excuse to hide their meeting (and their relationship during our five months of MC and during the entire time legal separation agreement was being drafted - only told me once it was signed "To avoid me blowing up and going crazy and creating a big expensive D fight") so if I don't have this useless discussion, I'm blamed further. 3) It will just be a fight and a waste of breath IMO but I could try?
He also is feeling that I'm going NC again - this is a ploy to rope me back into the craziness, hurt me, control me, etc...
Here's the end of the email chain:
WAH:just to cover all the bases, what would you think if OW were around for a later afternoon activity? please note: I do *not* expect she would be around, and am not planning it; I expect she will by in the city and I have no plan to take S into the city on Sunday; I am simply raising this because of what happened a couple of weeks ago, where you said you would prefer to know of any possibility ahead of time.
ME: didn't say I "prefer to know of a possiblity" for you to bring S along on your dates, I said that I want us to talk and agree on how and when is appropriate to "introduce" such people into our child's life, if at all. This is a very big deal for him and quite confusing. I believe it is totally inappropriate, unnecessary, and irresponsible, but at the very least this is something we should learn about, discuss at length, and negotiate, IMO. I do not feel comfortable with you "just letting me know ahead of time" although that is better than secrecy, admittedly.
Try imagining if the tables were turned - something you don't feel is good for S but I just say "I'm just going to let you know ahead of time when I do it anyhow regardless of your feelings as his father."
WAH: Ok, let's try to do that ... so when would be some times when you would be available for a discussion?
