Is it as simple as... - be there for her, but make her open the doors (listen but don't begin), hoping that she sees that the "newer" you is a different person that she doesn't want to leave anymore?
OR ignore her until she wants you, hoping that she doesn't get so used to coldness & isolation that she gets a new life that doesn't include her H?
I also wonder if the DB books are more written for women getting back their men than men getting back their women.
It's never simple, but I am going to try approach #1 above.
I don't think the DB/DR books are written for women, as she states that 75% or 80% of D's are initiated by women, or am I misreading something?
