Going straight forward...antlers 6th thread.

[Gardener]

ant,
Catching up after some time away.
I'm sorry for your intense grief. I can (we all can) relate.
In my case I continue to grieve a memory for when I do see her (re: house sale and such) I am amazed at how indifferent I feel and how there is nothing about her that I recognize.

Improved Romeo, Gabby'sMom, CityGirl and others are dead on.

In fact

The only change they think they can make is to run.

Every book I've read, every C I've spoken to, and Snodderly says the exact same thing: Run. As fast and as far away as they can.

The fact is that most of their hurt and anger is because they're unhappy with themselves and are trying to make others feel them better. So when despite walking away from everything they find that they're still unhappy that's when it hits them...they're not willing to admit (their self protection mechanism kicks in) they're unhappy or the fault lies with them- this is the part that can take a long time but eventually it happens. In most cases it's too late by then to make a difference for the LBS.

^^^Wisdom.
True, sad, unfortunate wisdom.

I wish you strength and healing.

Peace,