I am interested in all of you [and there seem to be many] that have reasonable and friendly relationships with your spouses. Do you think that is a factor in getting back together? I mean, my h is still really, really nasty, most of the time, or he is babbling incoherent apologies but then DOES nothing [this happens rarely, but more frequently in the last 9 months]
I talk kindly to him when he is down but pretty soon he gets back to full spewing mode, and I back off, telling him it is unacceptable. Is it him [he has been doing this for nearly five years] or is it me? He is still angry, depressed, withdrawn, in denial and with elements of replay. It is fascinating, but quite depressing how stuck he is.
Stirring the pot is clearly not an option . . . we are proceeding to divorce. Or would be if he ever replied to lawyers letters. And then blames the delays on me.
A real issue for me is the children have all grown up while he has been off, and he simply does not feature in their lives at all. My eldest son has not seen his father for 3 years - this is tremendously sad, as he was a wonderful father. But now a self obsessed, self centred mean spirited person.
