Hey Mrs. A - it was a great game and so far Denard Robinson seems almost too good to be true! I mean who gains more than 500 yards in a game all by himself! Nice to see Michigan back in the top 25 as well.
The Detroit game call was awful, I really thought it was catch although I do know you have to maintain possession throughout the catch. The Lions coach came out and said that the refs made the right call, but it doesn't make it feel any better. I'm just happy to see "real" football games on again, instead of the preseason stuff!
Well, I was really stressed today - and NOT because of the BS call on the Lions!
Sometimes it just seems like everything is going crazy at once. Like my crazy sister/mom/dad, for example. I had a really good session today with my IC, but it was ALL about those guys and not the least bit about Mr. A! So I'm just biding my time til next week to get into the Mr. A stuff with him...
But he gave me some really good advice today - make a point to be honest with myself about what's really on my mind now - even if it won't seem that important tomorrow. (Maybe other people do this, but it doesn't come naturally to me.)
I said, I have 4 things I want to touch on with you: how annoying work is, how annoying my personal responsibilities have become (e.g., yardword), Mr. A, and things with me and my sister. He told me to go ahead and I tried to start with Mr. A. But it all kept leading back to my sister!
So that's what we talked about the whole time. It wasn't exactly calming, but I think it will prove to be effective - even with regard to Mr. A. ????
I don't want to mind-read with Mr. A. BUT, I have a hard time asking him questions directly, especially when I'm worried that my questioning will push him away.
So instead of asking him, I'll tell you guys what I'm wondering about now:
1) Why doesn't he make firm plans for our next visit? I'm worried he'll just disappear again.
2) Why did he go back into the "relationship chest"? (That's the hard-to-reach place where he found my journal.) I moved my journal out of there, but it still holds a lot of relationship books. He went back in and left it half open - so surely I would notice! Why did he do that?
3) Why was he distant from me when we last parted? Is it because of something I did (e.g., pushing things too far by texting him that he'd better answer or not bother coming over) or is it just his own mindset of still needing space?
4) Why did he nonetheless leave some stuff over here?
5) Is he basically on the way out again?
And the most important question is for myself: WHY DO I STILL RIDE THIS ROLLERCOASTER?
I don't want to mind-read with Mr. A. BUT, I have a hard time asking him questions directly, especially when I'm worried that my questioning will push him away.
I would bet Mr. A knows this and is using this to his advantage.
I don't mean to sound pessimistic but I just get the feeling he's using you as a placeholder right now. You are familiar to him and currently a sure thing until something else comes along. He hasn't voiced at all to you what his intentions are, that he is considering rekindling the marriage relationship, making no long term or even short term plans. It just doesn't seem stable to me. He's got you basically walking on eggshells and second guessing everything you do. Not a good situation for you in my point of view.
1) Why doesn't he make firm plans for our next visit? I'm worried he'll just disappear again. 2) Why did he go back into the "relationship chest"? (That's the hard-to-reach place where he found my journal.) I moved my journal out of there, but it still holds a lot of relationship books. He went back in and left it half open - so surely I would notice! Why did he do that? 3) Why was he distant from me when we last parted? Is it because of something I did (e.g., pushing things too far by texting him that he'd better answer or not bother coming over) or is it just his own mindset of still needing space? 4) Why did he nonetheless leave some stuff over here? 5) Is he basically on the way out again?
imho, 1) He waits until it's convenient for him and keeps you hanging: a power trip. 2) He is totally boundary-less. And is flaunting it: "I'll look at what I want where and when I want, and I'm not only invading your treasured, intimate readings, I'm making sure you know it." Power trip, again. 3) Because your interpretation of the evidence notwithstanding, he is totally distant. 4) Boundaryless, again. Reason to come back. Flaunting again, I'll do what I want where I want and when I want. 5)Has he ever really come back? Honestly?
I think you should back off, set a couple of boundaries, enforce them and drop the intimacy.
BeginningAgain's dead on.
Peace,
Last edited by Gardener; 09/18/1006:30 PM.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
