I'm very lonely this morning. it will be okay; it's a beautiful day, I have some interesting things to do. but I miss connection right now. it's not about whether or not I ever have it again, but right now I miss feeling connected to another person. I want someone to see something special in me, little things, good things that are worth noticing and celebrating. yes, I can do that for myself, but I want the intimacy of someone else finding those things. and even more than that, I want to do the same for someone else--their little gifts, the sweetness, the specialness, the things that perhaps no one else notices in each other. I want a love, or at least a connection, that is a shelter in the storm, that allows me--just for a moment--to hold and be held, to lean, to face pain with reinforcements and not alone. and I want that person not to leave, not to suddenly see only the bad parts of me (or to manufacture some that never before existed), to reach across the scars and the prickly times and say "this is worth working through" or even "let me help you with that."
is this unrealistic?
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
