Right. I didn't realize it until I read Mars/Venus either, but by then, it was too late. I used to tease her too about telling me long, drawn-out stories. "and the woman was wearing BROWN shoes." But in my mind, that had absolutely NO bearing on anything! It was just fluff that I didn't need to know. When I became aware of her needs and started listening, then she was mad because why did I care now? I never cared before! I said "I didn't understand it was so important to you before." I didn't understand women's needs were so different from men's.
Then she files for D on 6/12, but all summer longs acts like nothing is going on, except she is sleeping in the other room and won't touch me. She still acts like my friend and wants to tell me all about her day and what she did here or there. When she was out until 3am, everything she drank, what she ate, blah, blah, blah. I don't get it. You are divorcing me! She was telling me about her irregular periods for god's sake! And this affects me HOW?
Do I sit there and listen to all of this and be friendly regardless of what she is doing to our family or do I tell her that given the circumstances, I don't need or even WANT to hear all about it? I don't want to be your friend. She can't continue to have the good parts of the relationship she is choosing and working so hard to end.
I just don't get it. Getting separated had put an end to this behavior, because I didn't contact her and just kept conversations short. Part of me thinks I should listen and empathize and part of me says not to until she decides she wants to stop the D and save the M. I don't know, do I try to make her miss it by staying dim or do I try to be the one she can't resist by being there for her? I guess I have to get the DR book back out and read up.
