Me neither, yes you are correct, they each keep pushing and pulling, like a tug of war, at some point they both need to let each other go and regroup, to see if they can work on things in the future.
He pulls because he is impatient like many guys, she pulls because she wants him to give into her wants for financial support. When John pushes her away, she says ILY and he feels a moment of "love" between them.
I have commented on this thread many times, and this thread is in the same "status quo" as it was 2 months ago.
Have we ever ascertained if your wife is either an alcoholic or on drugs? because her actions are the actions of someone who is not sober.
No mention of alcohol that I can remember. John, alcohol?
I know one thing, however, use the wrong spoon, and she'd just done They have a very bad dynamic going on between them. She can pretty much get him to do what she wants, and if he stands up to her, she switches tactics up a bit.
Everytime he pulls away, she checks in long enough to fool him into diving back in head-first.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
I told her what we talked about - and how if she was going to come back into this R I needed to invite her, and I hadn't done that yet. So, I invited her into the R. She said that she wanted more than anything to move back home, but she couldn't trust me now because of the way I've been "acting" toward her (i.e. - not being super friendly nice guy). I said OK, that's fine, I have invited you back into the R for now only.
This isn't like inviting a vampire into your house cause they need your permission to come in (well, actually, it is--I've been watching too much True Blood). LOL. You don't go through hell and then tell someone, "Hey, wanna come back to be with me, baby?" as if nothing has happened. No way, no how.
John, your relationship is toxic. Very, very unhealthy. You guys are like a bomb and a grenade together. It's no good.
Have we ever ascertained if your wife is either an alcoholic or on drugs? because her actions are the actions of someone who is not sober.
No mention of alcohol that I can remember. John, alcohol?
No alcohol at all or drugs going on here.
Originally Posted By: TimeHeals
I know one thing, however, use the wrong spoon, and she'd just done They have a very bad dynamic going on between them. She can pretty much get him to do what she wants, and if he stands up to her, she switches tactics up a bit.
Everytime he pulls away, she checks in long enough to fool him into diving back in head-first.
Couldn't have said it better myself
I'm pulling away now. I called tonight at 7:00pm to talk to S4 because I was going to dinner w/ my Dad and I knew I wouldn't be able to talk to him at the restaurant. I asked to speak to S4. Chatted a few minutes. She took the phone. I told her thanks for getting him. She asked about my day and golf tourney, I said it was good. Nothing else. I then just said, "Talk to you later."
She sent me a txt 10 minutes later "Why so cold?" I ignored it. She sent another txt 3 minutes later "????" I ignored it. Turned off my phone.
Won't contact her tonight.
Going dark for now.
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
Good God I can't get away for even a few days from this woman.
I was on fb and she saw I was online. Sent me a message and knew I was online. I said hey back, then my phone rings.
So I answer. She asks about my day chatting me up. I wasn't mono-syllable but I gave her a quick synopsis, told her I was doing great. She then talked about her day (I didn't ask) and I just nudged the conversation along by actively listening. She then asked me what was wrong. I said nothing, I was good, having a great time with my Dad. She asked again, said she knew something had changed with me. I told her I was fine, just hanging out with my Dad (which I was).
So she says, "ok, I'll talk to you later, have a good night". I reply, "Ok have a goodnight. Talk to you soon." *click*
I just can't say ILY anymore to her. It feels like I'm pursuing her again, and I don't want that anymore. I can't deal with it.
As I am hanging up, I hear the words, "I love..." *click*
So, she calls back. WTF. Really? She wants to know why I didn't say ILY when I always say it. She wanted to know what was wrong. I just told her stop worrying, I'm busy right now. She asks if I am angry with her, I tell her no. So she says "Ok, I'll let you go then. ILY."
First time she's said that first in a while.
Reciprocated.
Don't really want to talk to her for the next 2 days. I'm kind of getting up to my eyeballs in her CB as of late.
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
I also want to add that I am really valuing this time without her for *just* today! Having my Dad here to keep me busy and not alone has helped me take the focus off of her.
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
John, 3 posts back you said yo turned off your phone. She calls and you answer every time. STOP being so available to her. HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU HAVE TO BE TOLD THIS!!!!
She says ILY all the time, put your boundary in place and stop this crap. I think you will get less and less in response activity going forward.
