Argh, so last night was a bit of a blip. Staying in hostels make things really hard! We got pizza and then went to hang out in my room, the problem is I am in a 4 bed dorm (he is in a 10 bed!) and that is not, for me anyway, conducive to romance and anything else along those lines! I just feel really, really uncomfortable doing it there, especially as there were 4 people sitting outside my room having a conversation and the risk that the girl I am sharing with could come in at any moment. Anyway, he was very sweet about it but then got in a mood (clearly frustrated!). At one point he just said he had to leave so I let him go and he went and sat outside and had a beer and then came back, under the pretence of forgetting his phone which he later admitted he'd forgotten on purpose!
It was ok in the end, we just lay on the bed (a flippin bunk bed!)'and we cuddled and then he left and things were ok, but obviously I am hyper-sensitive after the h experience at any sign of uncomfortableness and am feeling a bit rubbish this morning.
Should I be lightening up a bit and just making the best of the hostel situation? I literally jump at every sound. It also doesn't help that I wanted to keep a low profile at first around the hostel with him and wouldn't hold his hand and stuff there. I did this when I first started going out with exh, I know I need to change it this time. He thinks I am embarressed of him but I'm not, I'm just not used to being couply and I'm finding it all a little bit weird. He did act like a bit of child last night though I have to say but he had also had a bad day with not finding work and family stuff.
On the plus side he is really into me and we are having a great time. He just wants to spend loads of time with me and he complements me all the time, telling me I'm beautiful and his face when I walk in the room is so lovely. Everytime he see's me he just looks totally blown away which is so nice. He talks about the future a lot and is including me in his plans to go down the East Coast. I'm not sure whether I will do that when the time comes, we'll have to see.
As you can tell I just have a lot of stuff going on in my head but the hostel thing is so annoying. We want quality time, even if it is just chilling out together and we aren't able to get it.
I thought, maybe if I just relax in the hostel (not as in the sex thing) but just hugging him when I see him and being a bit affectionate during the day then it may help me to relax more. What do you guys think?
