I want to give your little girl a hug...poor baby.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
I am hearing stories now about XW. "People are calling her the f-hole of Anywhere, NY." "She was doing jello shots off of John's stomach" (the husband of my son's den mother). "She was sucking face with some guy for over an hour in the corner of a party."
Sounds like her few remaining moral standards are deteriorating rapidly. I would not be surprised if she does not contract some serious STD in a short amount of time.
You, on the other hand, are quite aware of what your kids are going through and are their stable rock.
Oh FIB! I just teared up reading what your D7's teach told you. That is incredibly telling. She loves you and needs you. She knows who her stable parent is.
How old do the kids have to be before they get a say in where they want to live permanently? In GA it's 14. Some states are 12. I never heard what NY's laws were.
Praying for you and your beautiful children.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Hey Frank, thanks for reminding me of what I need to do for my daughters. I'm glad my XW isn't as messed up as yours, but her decisions still hurt the kids. At least mine are getting better.
Thanks all. As you all know, it is a real struggle to stay on top of the kids lives when you are NOT the custodial parent. We all remember from our 'lessons' here that women multitask a LOT better than we men. Recall, "women are like Microsoft Windows: multiple windows open, multitasking and 'pop-up' windows that need to be closed by us."
I will have the kids for 3/4 weekends in Oct since I have Columbus day weekend and it falls on her parenting weekend (vacations supercede parenting time). D7 told me she wants to go to Philadelphia.
XW went out again last night and didn't come home until 10:30P. Although more time for me, it's a school night. I had the kids shower and get into PJ's. She called and spoke with S10 then asked to speak with me.
XW: "My car literally rolled into the driveway. I ran out of gas. Please leave me the gas can. I'll have to walk to the gas station in the morning."
Now, my son heard all this. I should have said 'FU'. I should have told her to get her OWN gas can. I threw the gas in the back of the car and brought the kids back to her. I filled her car with a 1/2 gallon of gas as S10 watched to see how/what I was doing.
I'm too nice I think, in view of the fact that she is always teetering on dragging me back to court.
I've replaced the kids bedroom furniture with bunk beds since XW took both sets. I'm trying to restore the emptiness of the house as best as possible.
No bids on the house of late.
Dating service: Ugh. A lot of people with issues, angry, etc.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
I don't know... Giving her a 'pass' one time isn't being too nice. It's that assumption of you having 'spousal duties' that's a little wacky... like bringing over the gas can. Heck.. I'd leave it there.
There's a nifty club called AAA... something invaluable for drivers who do not have on call backup. Goodness knows I joined it when the spouse was traveling worldwide and when the kids started driving. One of those 'peace of mind' thingies. Maybe it's something she might figure out.
Hey FIB - it was the right thing to do, because that's who you are. You know helping her made your kids feel good. That's all that matters. That's strength and honor in action. And it validates to your kids what a great Dad they have. They notice those things, I promise you. Keep being you, it's what the kids need.
Dating is hard. But it can also be great. The right person is out there somewhere. You never know where or when you'll find her. No rush, no expectations. Just breathe and live and find the life the you want. You have a second chance here, make the most of it.
Strength and Honor.
Mules
M 43 W 44 M 17 T 22 S16,12,9 Bomb 2/05/08 I served her 1/06/09 S'd 3/15/09 D'd 12/21/09
"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.
