The money issues will be hers. She made these choices for you and kids. You and your kids had no say in the decisions she's made. She will have to live with her decisions and the consequences.
Reality is different than what actually happens. I think at some point the WAS will see this. It may longer for some than others.
I think what you are being told is to go out sometimes even if it is for a short time. You do not have to become her. It is just doing something for yourself. You don't need to tell your W what you are doing. As long as you are doing nothing wrong, she will have no ammunition against you. The court will not look at this as wrong.
I know your kids are your #1 priority because I feel the same way about mine.
Take good care of both you and the kids. You are great father, and you are doing a great job in a very difficult situation.
Never stop fighting for what you want.
Focus on your priorities first always.
Keep going strong!
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
Sorry to hear you had a bad weekend IDU. Mine was pretty good until Sunday, when I had to see/be with W at the kids soccer games. Broke down thinking about things.
You are doing the right thing with the L. You can't keep living in limbo and enabling her to just keep going on and on with this. Maybe it will shake her up enough, maybe not.
I understand about tight money, but something will pop up just when you need it. I can't believe how lucky I have been. Get feelers out in your network. If you have to rent for a while, do it. That is where I am at the moment.
You are strong IDU. You can and will do this and do it well for your kids. I have every confidence in you.
I got some info today from her family that she was going to file last week but couldn't get in to her L's office. She has Wed. off this week and is planning on going. I realize this is second hand info. It doesn't change what I need to do to protect myself and the kids. I think it would be to my benefit to file first. If, by a miracle from God Himself, she would change her mind, it could be stopped. I don't see it happening.
Also, the fact that she made plans to go to the same event this year that she went with OM to last year shows me that she has no remorse whatsoever. I was simply expected to be her babysitter again. Enough is enough, even for me.
I'm actually not married but telling my W that I was getting ready to move out caused some sort of a change in her behavior. Still trying to figure it out.
My W filed in early June. We lived together until I started pushing her to resolve our disputes. We separated Aug 28th. I have done my homework regarding Child Support, Alimony, The value of our home, forward looking budgets, etc. I have now decided to sit back and wait to see what she does. I believe that she is just waiting on her L and has no intentions of backing-off. We'll see.
Just as filing isn't the end, oftentimes even the actual D isn't the end. My friends across the street got back together about 8 months after they separated, which was about 2 months after their divorce was final.
