I have worked so hard to get in this frame of mind. I was a mess for a long time and still feel, sometimes, like I am holding it all together by a thread. It's not my problem that she is miserable. I'm sure the financial turmoil is hitting closer to home for her since we both talked to lawyers. I told her that I am willing to work with her on everything but would not budge from 50-50 shared custody. I would fight her to the end on that. She says we don't have the money for a long drawn out court fight and I simply told her that I would find a way. Period.
In the meantime, she has made no move to file herself. She called a couple of places and got some prices on houses and apartments but they are more expensive that our home and 7 acres that we have right now. I'm sure she thought she could go rent something for a couple hundred bucks and rely on child support for the rest.
I do go out some but am not as mysterious as I should be, I'm sure. I love the catnip term and thinking. I just can't quite put it all together, you know? I have four kids that count on me for a lot of things. I don't want to completely turn into her by going out and leaving the kids. I don't want to give her any ammunition to use against me. I know I may be being paranoid but my kids are my #1 priority. I'm sure she uses that against me.
CG, thanks for the vote of confidence. I wish I would get better at this a whole lot faster!!!
