No sweat. Sometimes, laughing is all you can do. I'm lucky in that, being a smart aleck comes naturally. Hard to feel 100% down when you can still find amusement at stupidity.
ADAPT. OVERCOME. IMPROVISE. -Tom Highway
Me: 43 W: 40 S12 & S9 Married 17yrs Together 20yrs
I certainly never "blamed" FB or social networking for ruining a marriage. However, if you read the article, you would see that it says social networks fosters a sense of fantasy and secrecy that affairs thrive on. The article also states that a marriage needs openness and transparency to counteract it.
I just thought it was an interesting article. Some of his conclusions are advice we give here every day.
I think it provides a vehicle that makes it easier for one who wants to stray, to stray. Kind of like, I drink more Starbucks now that I found one with a drive thru. I don't have to drag two little kids into the coffee house, so yay me! I can do it with less of a hassle...
Weird analogy, maybe, but you get the idea. Someone who is thinking about messing around has now got an easier place to look for those old boyfriends/girlfriends they used to wonder about. Or, a place to chat with cute co-worker after hours without actually getting together or calling from home.
I saw something online about Craiglist personal ads and some services being blocked for basically being prostitution. So I went over and checked it out. Not to use, gross!!!, but to see what they were talking about. Do you know how many married people had posted, "My wife/husband doesn't like to have sex, I just want a no strings attached hookup partner", etc, etc
It's like they don't even have to bother going to the bar anymore. Just sit on my couch, type up a post and wait to see if any fish will bite.
Again, it doesn't make a faithful person stray, but it makes it easier for one with a wandering eye to do what they are thinking of doing.
i saw ur post AG and i almost thought it was me writing it. W not happy w/ M. on FB. friends w/ OM2 in FL whose M also happens to be in sh!tter. plus he is just the type to try n bag my W which he did. ha. bc they start to bond. he moves to NY for job in 3/10, continues w/ FB. things progress. goes from EA to PA. ILYBNILWY bc IL OM2 i guess. next thing u know m dealing w/ A, exposure and trying to figure out what i will do w/ 5 kids and WAS along w/ OM2 w/ 4 kids (not that he IS my problem other than trying to exorcise him from my family's life). r these f'ing people insane? yes. sure it wasnt FB's fault bc M had problems, but FB didnt help.
thus my take on FB? utterly detest it. do not see point of it. would eradicate it if i could.
________________________________________________________________ M: 42, W: 40 T: 18y, M: 15y S7 S9; D4 D13 D15 --------------------------------------------- Nov 2008 - Feb 2009 - EA/PA - OM1 Mar 2009 - Exposed - W didnt come clean 100%, admitted A, no details May 2009 - Nov 2009 - FT but no resolution Nov 2009 - DB'ing (not very well bc) Mar 2010 - ILYBNILWY - still ML regularly Mar 2010 - Wife shuts me out of FaceBook Mar 2010 - Sep 2010 - EA/PA - OM2 (lives in FL but working NY) 9/1/10 - OM2 moves back to FL, his M estranged in past, 4 children 8/31/10 - install keylogger (shouldve done it sooner, duh) 9/6/10 - Confront W/OM2/OMW2 9/7/10 - Exposure family/friends 9/7/10 - W says may file D, talk sep? 9/7/10 to present - OM2 discloses A in detail to OMW2, offers wife 100% transparency 9/14/10 - Communicated OM2/OMW2, end contact, sep no longer option Sept 2010 - W initially won't admit A until 9/16/10, wanting "closure", now reluctantly agrees no contact but not transparent yet (big step hopefully) --------------------------------------------- Current - Contact with OM2 unknown but suspect done for now Current - some details revealed 9/16 but no transparency yet Current - Talking Retrouvaille, probly too soon
I read the article. I would say my marriage is a statistic and my H fell prey to the email affair with his ex. I have to own the 50% of the marriage breakdown too. Don't get me wrong. But where it says transparency, it is absolutely true.
Let the sideshow begin....
Me 44 H 46 S 13 D 11 Married: 17 Dated: 7
Bomb 7/1//08 ILUBINILWY 2nd Bomb 4/3/09 I'm Leaving You 3rd Bomb 11/2009 - The 3 YR Affair is discovered
Ahhhh, the old one-two-punch. Familiar to many, hated by all.
Wow! This rings scarily true. I'm sort of dumbfounded by the fact that this pattern seems so common and yet I couldn't see it. I'm the first person to tell you I made mistakes, but seeing this kind of thing repeat itself with so many people is helping me see its wasn't ALL me.
And yes, FB is the new tonic for the masses.
M:37 W:34 M:4 years T:6 years No Kids A disclosed - 9/1/2010 W asks for separation - 10/19/2010 Moving on - 10/24/2010 A ends (and I believe her) - 12/2010 Content - 3/1/2011 Served - 3/18/2011 D Day - 6/20/2011
