Is there a way back?

[Long_Way_To_Go]

I'm sorry you are here vj68, but you are not alone. I am in a similar situation as you except 4 months down the road already. My husband had an PA over the summer and gave me all the typical lines--unhappy for years, no spark between us, rewriting the history of our marriage, missed out on his twenties because he married me, still in contact with OW (who is in college).

When I first read DB and came here I believed my life was over. I am in a much better place now after focusing on myself more. I still have sadness in my heart for all that has happened, but each day I get a little stronger. One thing that has really helped me is talking with a divorce busting coach. She has really helped me focus on small goals and look for small changes. I didn't know how to apply the DB techniques to my situation and she has been so helpful, kind and compassionate.

Please don't blame or think badly of yourself. She is blaming you to justify her relationship with the OM. I think a lot of spouses in an EA or PA greatly exaggerate what they are feeling about their marriage. So I take my H's complaints about our relationship as only 50% true. That helps me to not blame myself or feel like all is hopeless. I hope this makes sense.