wonderful marriage hits midlife crisis

[TAMF]

Help me!!! the Vacuum that is my H is sucking me back in! AHHHH! Oh lordy how I get sucked in. Let me explain (some of you are going to have a hay-day with my story) LOL!

ok, Wed. I called my H and told him that I was planning on going to our town's big festival this weekend and that all of our friends were going to be there and I wanted to ask him if he would NOT bring the OW to the fest, because none of our friends have ever seen them together and it would be horrible. I know that some of my girlfriends (who are his friends too) would freak out and make a scene. I wanted to avoid this. He said ok, no problem.

a couple hours later he text:
Is someone taking you to the fest?
me (after I waited for an hour to text back):going with a group

H:Just keeping my eye on you

me:i got new jeans today - size 9! yippee

H:I need new ones 2 - I have lost so much weight pants are falling off. can you pick me up a pair?

me:I can't do those things for you anymore. You will have to go shopping alone.

(which by the way he has NEVER EVER DONE. Every piece of clothing that he has, I have bought him)

H: hell no!

(then he changes subject and it gets emotional)

H: you planning on staying at your job?

me: of course?! why?

H: I just couldn't do that anymore.

me: what do you mean?

H: your job was a big part of our problem

me: I told you that NO JOB was worth my marriage and that I would quit in a second if I thought that was the real issue. I quit and would you come back to me? I have to be financially stable for myself and the girls.

H: I just want to move so far away

me: r u able to meet me tonight and have a drink? I think we need to talk.

H: sure, but I am still 100 miles out and don't know when I will get home. I will let you know.

Anyway - we didn't end up going to get a drink because it got too late and I needed to get home to the girls. But he sent me a last text that said he had enjoyed our going back and forth and that he promised to take me for a talk and drink soon.

OKAY - now I don't want to get sucked back in to his world of confusion and so I go on verizon.com today to keep myself grounded and focused and noticed that he had been texting the OW back and forth the entire time he had been texting me. How does he do it - wouldn't it get so confusing?

Anyway, as proof that I am REALLY doing okay, I am not mad at all. I feel sorry for him that he can't find peace. a month ago I would have been crying and angry - panic attack. Now I can type my issue out to all of you, smile and think about what fun I am going to have without him this weekend at the fest!