How should I proceed now? Is there hope?

[Dagny-2]

NCU,

I just finally got caught up and I can't believe the things he said to you, well, I can, because they all need to place the blame somewhere, not on themselves for their actions, so he lays it on you. And great for you for sticking up for yourself, I think that is wonderful!

Next time he starts in on you, tell him you won't let him speak to you that way, come up with some statement that feels right to you so you are ready for it.

I don't think you loved him too much, you did and behaved how many wives behave all across the world, and they are still married. And everything you wrote about him being busy, not attending functions, those could have been words out of my mouth. And maybe we did give a bit too much to our families and not preserve ourselves, but that can be rectified, and not to win them back, but to win our own self-worth back.

If you do it just for him, clean the house, dress nice, you are going to end up walking on eggshells and that sucks too. There is a great DB adage, and I'm sure you have read it, but believe nothing of what he says and only half of what he does. He isn't the H you married, he is the alien-H. Old H may come back, mine did 7 years ago and he was better than ever for many of those years. And you know, when you finally detach, when you finally feel that you can do this alone, that is when they start sniffing around again. Do things that make you smile, not anyone else!

Dagny