The MLCer tends to go into a depression when some catastrophic event occurs. What HB and others have described, and I witnessed firsthand, is that first they are in a numb stage of denial, then they start lashing out in anger for almost a year, and next they reach the Replay stage your H is in. The Replay tends to last 2-3 years, so you can probably expect your H to be there some time longer, before he reaches the stages where he begins to work on his issues.
Try not to read anything into your H's contradictory actions. He is very confused at the moment, to the point that it is often difficult to function, or to remember what he's been saying. The best you can do, to weather this storm, is to take good care of yourself, and become the sort of person you most admire. And to show love to your children.
