Yep, you pay her rent, run to help her every time she calls, and she doesn't respect you.
OK, thanks for your feedback, Coach. I do feel that me financially contributing to the separation is (now) crossing one of my boundaries. I will not finance the continued destruction of our R or M.
I also feel I have fulfilled my earlier promise to her of not holding her hostage in the marriage on a financial basis -- I helped her get some furniture and starters for rent, but now it's time for her to put her BGP on.
1) Taking her off my credit cards
2) Opening separate account for my paychecks -- question of how much of remaining marital assets to pull into my own account? Leave 1 month's rent to give her time to adapt/rebudget?
3) Need to figure out how much (if any) I should contribute from here forward to her monthly due to potential alimony or child custody issues (but we are 50/50 in our kids?). I guess I need to see L about this, but any informal guidance here? Where are the calculators for CA?
Re: the helping with kids, you think she doesn't respect me because I respond to her calls to help with the kids? What is the argument NOT to help with the kids (I see it as I'm their Dad, and they are my responsibility regardless of where they are rather than it is something I am doing in as an H). Help me see your thinking here. Or is it because it's a psychological thing to see if she can still puppeteer/control me -- that I am "available" to her?
Me-53 W-49 D22,D18,D15 T-Since-12/2001 Married-9/2004 She Moved Out-5/28/2010 Piecing start-04/2011 Now-together Thread http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2079304
