I truly appreciate the feedback here, it really helps to give me different perspectives.
I definitely have some things of my own to work on. While my husband is outgoing, I am shy; he is agressive, I am timid; he is uninhibited, I am inhibited; he is demanding, I am a pleaser - it is not surprising that we have fallen into many of the patterns that we have. Additionally, I am sensitive and easily offended, but slow to forgive. These days I have little patience, am quick to anger and defensiveness always lies just below the surface.
In the past several years, I have slowly been working on GAL because I have recognized that I have to be responsible for making myself happy. While I have not been good about setting concrete goals, I have been working on making new friends and spending more time doing things that I enjoy. There have been times when I felt guilty (there's that word again) not spending the time or attention on my husband, after all, how do we improve our relationship if we are out doing our own thing? but I know that the key is in balance; I have to be happy and feel good about myself in order to be a healthy partner in the relationship. It is often confusing for me because he is very needy for my time and attention, but he is not good at reciprocating, maybe this is one of the Love Languages things?
Another thing that I have a hard time with is the 180 concept. I am such a reaction person that I have a hard time stopping myself from the typical behavior. It is something that I definitely will give more thought to.
