I would love to say welcome to this board, but it really isn't a place any of us really want to be :-) I can tell you that the friendships that I have made on this board have really helped me! This is a place I can tell everyone what crazy insane thing is going on in my life and they all respond with advice that helps you stand strong.
When you hear everyone tell you that on this board we focus on you - it is true! When I first came on this site in August, I was an emotional basketcase. doing all of the things you shouldn't do when faced with a S in the middle of a MLC. I just couldn't UNDERSTAND why he was doing what he was doing. and I found that most of my anxiety was because I wanted to "fix" his problem. But painfully, I realized I cannot fix this - it is his only to fix. Putting that anxiety aside has helped me to focus on my 2 Ds (12 and 10) and on myself.
I look back to the first 2 months after he told me he loved another woman and moved out...I have changed so much! Even though it is sometimes difficult dealing with my H and the alien that has invaded my husband's body :-) I take time to figure out what makes me happy. Plain and simple I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY. It's not easy, but boy it feels good when you can finally get to that point.
As far as your older D who has contacted the OW...I had this issue with my oldest D as well. My D found the OW on facebook and was looking through pictures of her and told me that she thought about emailing her. I carefully told her that it wouldn't help. The OW would never email her back. It would put her dad into a position to defend the OW and that would be bad. I was just very caring and sensitive when we talked and she agreed that it wouldn't make her feel any better. My D has a nightmare over and over that the OW is being pushed infront of a bus and killed - and I am doing the pushing! NICE.
When the girls see me doing okay and happy, it makes their anger at the OW and their dad ease. If you are okay = they are okay. Trust me.
TAMF m:41 xh:41 T: 20 M: 15 D: 16 D: 14 Bomb dropped: 7/3/10 separated: 7/15/10 H moved in to new apt. with OW: 7/1/11 divorced: 8/26/12
