Ominus Bonus

[steady]

Hi Whiskey. I've missed you and have sometimes clicked on your name to see if you've posted recently.You are one of the people here who taught me a lot and whose steadiness I often clung to.

How is everything? Still in school?

I'm not really sure I understand what a friend dying has to do with the well being of your kids unless death was rolling across your state and she wanted to warn you. Yeah, I'm being a smartass - clearly a sympathy text and you were very kind.

And I wouldn't think it were OM, could be one of his parents. Do you think she'd be able to function if it were him? I hardly think she'd lean on you.

At first I thought maybe she had a dream that something happened to the kids while napping or something. I've seen that happen to people. But you're right, it has nothing to do with the kids. I read it as a sympathy text and I didn't bite into it. She didn't even have to text what she did. Could have just said, I was just wanting to check up on them or something to that effect. That's why I try to now wait before I answer any text messages unless they're straight yes/no or clear answers.

Oh, and I love the smartass comment...it made me laugh. I pictured a big dark cloud rolling over my town. lol I imagine she was drinking and got stupid thought running through the brain.

(My first thought was to text back something like, Why are you telling me this? That's your personal life and has nothing to do with mine, or something similar to that. But I just can't be cruel - and that's a good thing)

I just don't have it in me. She managed to crush all of it by her behavior this past 2 and a half years. Just blank...nothing there to offer her. Maybe one day it will be different, but for now, it's an empty tank and I have no desire to even fake it.

Yes you do have it in you. I understand you can't be cruel, but you still stop long enough to consider feeding into her manipulations.

You've always seemed to have the knack of tying my brain into a knot with a few sentences. Most of the time I'm not at a loss for following the bouncing balls but you always leave me a little room to have to stretch my brain.

I'll take a shot. I should have written I have it in me to be cruel but I don't want to be like that concerning throwing a jab or two in there and being cruel probably didn't only because of the fact I'm in this court battle and doing something like that would reflect poorly on me. (I think that's more honest and genuine than the part with the strikethrough) That was my initial reaction. So that shows there's anger and a desire to hit back still sitting in me. I've acknowledged that and know in time that will continue to dissipate.

The comment 'I just don't have it in me' is referring to me being sympathetic or extending myself to her. That's the part I meant. Yeah, I did stop long enough to almost fall into the trap of manipulation. But the good thing about it is I stopped and saw it for what I thought it was...just a manipulation. The potential of getting pulled in is all about me and has nothing to do with her.

It's a pattern I've been working on pulling out of and I've come a long way in that regard. (No More Mister Nice Guy stuff)

Just asking you to consider what you really feel and don't try to talk yourself in or out of anything. Your actions can reflect what you want, but do try to sort out your feelings. Those 2 quotes are a bit opposite of each other.

Now this is the bounding ball I didn't follow.

I understand my first quote was the move toward falling into the manipulation, coming from anger/resentment due to her reprehensible behavior toward me. The second quote is my discovery of no desire to sympathize her empathize with her. I would have ignored the text completely if it weren't about my kids.

Please enlighten me a bit further. I always love your input.

Thanks for coming by WT. It's been a while and it's nice to see you.