Thak you for the support and encouragement Dan. I appreciate it.
Piano, the journal is actually a book that is passed to her when she picks up the kids. Her brother does pick up and drop off on my behalf. It is strictly information about kids, things that happen to them i.e. cuts, bruises etc. Anything that she could percieve as bad etc. I tell her about appointments the kids have. Anything coming up like school functions, exciting things the kids do so she knows to ask them about it. I just try to keep her informed on the kids day to day life. So that when she has them, she can talk about these things with them. Once i started doing that, the kids felt a little more at ease and settled down a bit. I guess it just allows mom to interact with the kids about their day to day life and they can feel that mom still knows whats going on daily in their lives.
So today she got the letter regarding the money i kept on from her last pay and the reciepts that were sent with it saying the money was for her past due property taxes and not child support. she went off her rocker, called me at work and just unloaded on me. I simply told her that is where the money went and she just kept yelling and screaming. I told her to go see a lawyer and we would deal with it that way. I hung up and told my secretary that i would not accept any further calls from her.
That was sneaky i might add. Glad my lawyer came up with it. So now the Family Responsibility Office will go after all back child support and i wont have to take her to small claims court to get the property tax money from her. She know that is why I did it, but i dont care.
Both my mother and her mother gave me heck last night for caring to much about what she will think about my actions. I dont want her to hate me, and things like this just push her further away and she hates me a little more. After hate comes indifference, if she gets to that point, i can right this whole thing off.
Both of my mothers must have talked about this ahead of time, cause they both hit with the same comments. They keep telling me to stop caring for her, to cut her off of everything in my life. They both said to stop the journal, to only put important things in it like injuries, appointments or upcoming events related to the children. They said let her feel out of touch with the kids day to day life. My response to that is, it in effect hurts the children and isnt that using the kids against her?
I am going in circles, I know what i should do, I just cant seem to find the strength to do it.
I have told myself that I will not worry about her and her financial and emotional issues anymore. I will ignore her at all costs, unless it is an absolute urgent situation concerning my children. I am sure I will make mistakes, so stay with me. I need the support and guidance through this period. I should be long past this point but I'm not. I truley do love my wife unconditionally, but I will only say iton here. I wont say it to her. so some of my post may sound like I am giving in and stepping backwards, but know i am saying it here and not to her. She is my soulmate, I am certain she will wake up one day and realize what she walked away from. Just like i am certain her OM wont deal with all the issues she brings into their life as I have now stopped dealing with them.
So I am going NC in a big way, any other advise on what i can do or even how to get over this hurdle would be appreciated. I do want to move on with life. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
