I don't have any advice for you. If your husband were posting here, I'd have advice for him: just because she isn't arguing or complaining, doesn't mean this "cease fire" is a good thing. Time to step up and do your best Cary Grant impersonation, Guy.
Well yes this is what I'd like to see . But I feel like instead I'm getting the 5-year-old " Fine, I don't want to play with you either!".
Accept that there is only one thing you can change in life and that is you
In my defense (lol) I wanted to say that I stopped nagging a few weeks ago (at least most of it) and the reason I stopped initiating talking was cause I was fed up with being hurt at the end of every conversation (Which I'm now working on, changing my TEA so that it won't end up there anymore).
I'm not exactly sure what I'm trying to say here, except still find an answer to my question :P
Accept that there is only one thing you can change in life and that is you
I'm not exactly sure what I'm trying to say here, except still find an answer to my question :P
The reason I don't have any advice for you is because you are already doing the right stuff: working on you, having new experiences, setting new goals, learning about how to let go of past hurt (learn from the past, but don't re-live the painful emotions; rather, think of what they taught you and be grateful that you learned).
We can basically re-write our own past. Some folks have trouble with this, and they hold on to every regret, every hurt, every disappointment and re-live those emotions over and over and over. It's not a good way to go through life. I advise strongly against unneccessary rumination
Last edited by TimeHeals; 09/17/1002:14 PM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
In my defense (lol) I wanted to say that I stopped nagging a few weeks ago (at least most of it) and the reason I stopped initiating talking was cause I was fed up with being hurt at the end of every conversation.
I'm not exactly sure what I'm trying to say here, except still find an answer to my question :P
You did answer your own ?. Or rather, it wasn't a question... it was an observation). You stopped putting yourself out there to be hurt. Sounds healthy to me.
But I want to try my new ways now, in a conversation with him and continuously work on my TEA. My (maybe not well formed) question was whether to make gestures to change the hostile "setting" between us into a more friendly one. I do want us to start talking again eventually so putting it off further doesn't seem to lead anywhere?
Accept that there is only one thing you can change in life and that is you
I guess I want him to know that it's OK to talk to me. That I'm not trying to play "who is going to start the conversation first" game.
I would like him to know that I don't GAL "in spite of him" but that I'm just doing it for myself. And that he doesn't need to "get back at me" and I'll actually be glad to see him do stuff for himself as well.
You know what I mean? Now, is it a right thing to do to actually let him know of that?
Accept that there is only one thing you can change in life and that is you
. But I feel like instead I'm getting the 5-year-old " Fine, I don't want to play with you either!".