Nothing unusual going on right now. Fixing the heating system has taken a high priority. I took the lead and got some bids and options to review.
I brought the info home and showed it to W. She is usually very opinionated and wants to have a final say on things. She is also as savvy as I when it comes to technical stuff and engineered systems.
She looked over the stuff and questioned the more expensive option that I was favoring. I was prepared to defend my position. Sometimes it leads to a debate which often is unnecessary. But this time it was different. She listened to me and did not butt in or start to challenge my position. She offered me her opinion but quickly added “Pookie I trust your judgment and expertise.” I said, “thanks, I’ve done my homework.” She said, “I’m sure you have. I have looked into it also and I was not sure if the more expensive option has the payback value.” I replied “I think it does.” She smiled and said “well, then we should go with that.”
Big investments and decisions have never been easy. She often tries to disagree and challenge my preferences. Talking about it results in her not really listening to me and pushing her way without reasoning. I often back off just because I don’t want to argue about it.
It is almost like she has gotten some coaching how to communicate effectively. I can’t describe how pleased I am right now how we interact and communicate. All these little things together add up to almost perfect R.
But the separation is still lingering in the background. I don’t know what her behavior really means and I should not try to figure it out. Ever since I told her that she is so much pleasant to be with and how I appreciate that she treats me with respect. At the same time I complimented her for being responsible and no longer behaving selfishly.
Everything I have worked hard on including my own behavior seems to be reflecting back. I feel confident and relaxed. I feel funny and I see that she likes to be with me. I feel attraction again.
I may be all wrong, but that’s the way it works now and I can’t complain. It is a total 180 from 4 months ago.
I hate the word “hope”, so I will keep doing what works and enjoy my own self in the process.
